3 BASIC METHODS OF CHILDREN's EDUCATION.

       Little children who have just come into this world learn how to behave in it, what rules exist here, they look at the behavior of their parents, choose for themselves models and norms of behavior. And responsibility of parents is to show the child these rules and models. For that, they are the parents: to protect from possible danger peacefully and quietly to and teach the norms and rules of this world.If you look at education conceptually, you can name 3 main ways of raising children. Each way will have its own specific methods.         

       And, of course, every parent should choose what is the best for him and his child.

       So, there are:

1. Education in ignorance

2. Education in passion

3. Education in Kindness and grace

Let's consider each method on specific examples.

EDUCATION IN IGNORANCE

       There is an opinion that a child should be allowed to do whatever he wants. So he learns the world. For example, if he wants to put the scissors in the socket - let him try, he will understand that it is dangerous, as soon as it hits with an electric shock.But, reasonable people thought up sockets with a lid. And it's not just by chance, but to make it clear to the child that these are not just holes in the wall, in which, of course, it is so desirable to put some sticks. And later you will be able to explain what it is to an elder child.

       Another example: for the child to understand that the fire is hot, the parents bring the child's finger to the match, so that he twists, screaming out of fright and even pain. "Well, hotly?" - they ask, "You see! No need to touch the fire! Now you understand that it is hot." 

       The child is sitting in the arms of his/her Mom, and suddenly he/she painfully pulls Mom by the hair, and Mom in response starts to pull the child, saying: "Does it hurt you? It really hurts, isn’t it?" So it hurts mother also! Now you won’t pull me again." 

       I will cite an example of a frequent situation: when a child is in adolescence, he/she comes to the parent to ask him to go to a party, a meeting. And the parent answers: "You are an adult. Choose yourself! I cannot limit your freedom, stop your development. Your life - so you must decide." 

       This type of upbringing is suitable for the raising of a fighting-type child, for whom very strict boundaries are needed in life, and he himself will act with clear stereotypes. His future professions are associated with great discipline (military, athletes, bank employees, firefighters), but these are not people of a creative orientation.

EDUCATION IN PASSION

       You, for sure, know this all-embracing feeling of a strong desire to do something soon, go somewhere, buy something or get something. This is a sharp fire, followed by a sharp decline and a complete loss of interest. And then an emptiness that is close to despair, which is just waiting for another spark to ignite.               "Son, dear ... oh, you cannot even imagine where we're going toda-a-a-a-ay!!!” - Shouts the agitated mother, showing her remarkable interest, admiration, unstoppable desire. "O-o-o-o-o-o-oh, what I'll buy you today!"

        Mother, like an avalanche, emotionally captures the child, kicks him out of the familiar world, inner calmness, to evoke his emotions. So that the child will desperately want to go somewhere or get something.

       As you understand, this is no calmness and regularity. There is a strong emotion-push. This brings up a desire in a person to pick up energy very quickly, and then to lose it with a high speed; to rush into some business with joy, and then, without completing, stop everything, because the interest is lost, as at the first moment a lot of energy was given out. It teaches to feel strong emotions suddenly and also sharply cool down; react to advertising, to everything which is bright and provocative.

       Moreover, this style of parents‘s behavior forces the child to spill out large volumes of energy at once, which, of course, entails a feeling of disappointment, a lack of energy for those things that he really needs to do in the future.

       This type of upbringing develops in the child the desire for excellence, the passion to be always the first, to be the best, to compete constantly, without feeling his/her real place and direction.

EDUCATION IN KINDNESS and GRACE

       This type of education is associated with the respect of the child and the acceptance of your own responsibility (as a parent) for child’s education, for the example, which you give to the child. This gradual study of models of behavior, rules and norms: what can and cannot be done, where and with whom it is safe, and where you need to be careful and cautious.

      According to cycles of human development only with a certain age comes understanding of certain things.

       For example, if the house has a fireplace and there is a danger that the child can touch and burn, do not explain to a baby that is hot, you just need to protect the fireplace, so that the kid does not climb there.

       If the balcony is on the fifth floor and the kid goes out there to walk, then you need to make a good, safe fence. And when mother starts screaming to the kid: "Stop, it's dangerous, you'll fall!" - it only brings him fear, misunderstanding and frustration, because if a caring mother gave him access there, why there should be dangerous and why she screams so loud.

       In the house where the upbringing in kindness and grace takes place there is always peace and concentration on the child. The child is always in contact with adults.

       And if in adolescence, the child came for advice to the parent, asks permission to attend some event - the parent will in no way let the child go where the environment is unfavorable for the child.

       The grace, blessing gives the child natural feelings of security, stability, predictability, tranquility, which are basic.

       In the basis of such education is attentive following the nature of the child, understanding and accepting his own peculiarities, abandoning your own expectations and not comparing the child with neighbors, acquaintances, classmates.

       With such upbringing, there is no blocking of energy. Such children can realize themselves creatively, they are able to solve problems based on inner truth, and not out of fear, to feel their place in the society. It is interesting to note that those people who raise their children in ignorance often say about people who bring up children in kindness that they indulge their child.

        Actually, everyone chooses the most suitable way for himself.