Jokes vs Mockery.
What is the danger? How to distinguish.
In your jokes beware of:
touching intimate affairs of other people;
concealing a dagger of mockery;
laughing at someone who does not understand something;
touching family matters;
mocking the wise men of antiquity;
supporting one of the parties to the dispute;
puting a person in a stupid position;
making yourself laugh when it is not funny;
laughing at a joke before others;
expressing your dislike;
being wordy.
Chen Gao Mo (Chinese writer of the 17th century)
Jokes have been part of human culture since ancient times.
From time immemorial a high-quality sense of humor distinguished an intelligent person from an ignoramus.
We all know that jokes may be different: you can find such combinations as “self-deprecating humor”, “black humor”, sarcasm. They even say that there are "evil, poisonous jokes". But this is not so!
As Honore de Balzac wrote, "Backbitinghas a snakehead"
A joke can only be GOOD, KIND, radiating joy and light for ALL who is present.
If at least someone feels uncomfortable or unpleasant after the joke and his dignity is humiliated - this is not a joke, but an obvious mockery or a stopping of energy, which is a clear manifestation of fears or complexes of "joker"! And this must be clearly understood. Misunderstanding in this matter, inability to distinguish a joke from bullying, mockery or stopping energy leads to serious consequences, mental disorders. And later on to tragic situations.
They say about a person who maliciously jokes, that he has a "poisonous tongue".
A word - this is the strongest weapon!
French writer A. France said: “There is nothing more powerful than a word. Rows of strong arguments and high thoughts cannot be broken. The word strikes the ferocious and destroys the fortresses. It's an invisible weapon.”
The great Russian diplomat, writer, pianist, composer Alexander Griboyedov wrote:
"Evil tongues are more terrible than a pistol"
If the parents "joke" angrily = mock the child from an early age, and the child, being very open to adults, looks that the parents (elder brothers and sisters) are funny and cheerful from the "joke" - the child starts to play along, that is, ALLOWs to scoff at him.
Later he comes to a kindergarten and a school, where everyone also immediately feels that "this child is normally bullied" in his family." And already at school this child is being harassed by bullying and evil "jokes". That is, the child is in a constant state of humiliation. He stops understanding and feeling his dignity. A person without dignity has no way to find himself (his place) in life.
For example, in America, from the beginning of 2018 till the end of February, there were already 18 tragedies in schools, where one of the schoolchildren shot pupils and teachers.
This is called - Cruelty!
But where does this cruelty come from?
You can say that this is just a bad mental state. But it does not come from nowhere!
It is usually reported as follows: a teenager suffered from depression and underwent psychological treatment.
But how can mental illnesses appear in families where the child is cared for, respected and his dignity is not humiliated?
I want to remind you that psychological illnesses are not inherited. You can only "get infected" by mental decease... as an infection from your environment.And the responsibility of parents is to create a decent environment for the child.
Or if parents themselves allow evil jokes and bullying against each other - it also affects the child who will absorb this attitude to the mother or father, then express it, project it onto peers or let others do this to himself.
Here are some very common examples of child abuse, ignorance, which parents call "joke".
Many like to photograph children in the most incorrect poses, when children cry, sleep when they are in the toilet. And then they sign these photos, as it seems to them, with ridiculous inscriptions - and later ALL together, with relatives and friends they look at the photos of small children, and laugh at them. This is nothing but ignorance (barbarism).
In general, photography helps to build a certain image and at the same time to maintain the correct energy, so the family has always been photographed once a year, while family members dressed in beautiful clothes, made hairstyles, and properly arranged the interior. They showed the best image of the family, which then tried to follow by hanging a photo on the wall.
If we represent the child in an incorrect manner, then we humiliate his dignity, which means we stop his natural development, the disclosure of his talents, and the formation of his harmonious image.
Or another example ...
A small child eats porridge and he smears his hands in it. The elder brother sits near him at the table. And suddenly brother starts stroking his own head, uttering certain words that affect the child ... This brother shows that the child should repeat after him. And, of course, the child repeats! After all, he believes an adult and also strokes his head. But his hands are in porridge. And the child spoils his hair. All adults start laughing out loud! A child does not understand that this is a mockery. After all, adults have FUN, and the child wants to make them happy!
Thus, humiliation of one's dignity becomes natural for the child, is recorded in his memory, as an opportunity to bring joy to others. And in adulthood, he may not even notice that his dignity is humiliated and he will not be able to defend his honor.
Or parents say: look at Mary, she's such a clever girl: she dances beautifully, and you're awkward, clumsy ... and they begin to portray a child, and everyone laughs.
Comparison of the child with another in a bad way is the strongest humiliation of the dignity of the child, which in this case also affects child’s body! And the younger age is the level of bodily development.
And then, if the child burst into tears or gets angry, the adult can suddenly say: "What happened, dear ... I joked! Do not you understand jokes ...? "
And instead of asking for forgiveness for the humiliation, parents convince the child that such an attitude towards him is normal. And she just did not understand the joke.
But as Russian wisdom says: "In every joke there is always a grain of truth"
And such a "joke" shows up parent’s frustration on their child. And, as you know, afrustrating person never frustrates on the object of his frustration. That is, if the parent frustrates towards the child, this indicates that he does not direct his anger, resentment in the right direction (the boss, partner, friend, relative).
In intelligent families, the most important law of education is:
Children in the family are never humiliated and never compared to other children!
By the nature of jokes you can always understand the level of human development. And it's very dangerous to communicate with people who make stupid, flat jokes that degrade one's dignity. Moreover, it is a very contagious phenomenon, it is like an infection that spreads quickly in the group. If such a joker was not stopped, later, you won’t even notice how it’ll happen - all members of the group begin to let go of stupid, low jokes, laugh at those who fell or who is humiliated. Therefore, the level of brain frequency is understated, which means that a person can no longer do what he should, perform his tasks, meet the right people, and implement his ideas. And the level of its development is significantly reduced.
Well, if to speak in a scientific language that does not require additional confirmation: according to scientific research, a person making stupid jokes suffers from a mental disorder.
"Under the mockery, sometimes spiritual poverty disappears." Jean de Labruier
So you need to protect yourself and your children from communicating with people who make stupid, cruel jokes. Let me remind you that sarcasm is infection that spreads very quickly.
If you react to aggression by ignoring (and a poisonous joke is an aggression), then only 3 times it can remain for you without consequences. Further, your inner state will become depressed. Because a cruel joke strikes much stronger than physical hits and has deep consequences.
Take care of your children!
